Chasing My Thirties

Entry # 1 Thursday February 27th 2025

I turn thirty in one hundred and sixty-four days so I thought it would be fun to write about the last few months of my twenties. I will say, twenty-nine has not been very friendly so far, but things here shortly are about to really change for me. What I have to share on this first entry is a bit heavy and will probably raise some questions, and I know exactly the one you're thinking of, but now isn't really the time for it. This is only a piece of a much larger story that isn't fully mine to share.

...

In less than thirty days my entire life as I know it is about to change.

It’s for the best, it really is, but that doesn’t make it any easier.

I’ve been in pain for years, but more specifically these past seventeen months. My ovaries were overstimulated by medication, and they haven’t calmed down since.

Up until last month, I was only in pain for three weeks out of the month. Now I’m in pain every day. I don’t fully understand what’s happening and why it's sudden and aggressive, but it is what it is, I guess.

In the nineteen years that I’ve been dealing with this, nothing compares to the pain I’ve been experiencing these past seventeen months, and more recently, this past month.

To be honest, I truly believe that I would not be having these issues right now if I didn't take that medicine seventeen months ago, but carrying that anger for so long has been heavy on my soul and I don’t want it anymore.

I’m having surgery in a few weeks that is not only going to alleviate a lot of my pain, but it’s going to give me a part of my life back and I’m really looking forward to no longer being controlled by what we’re brainwashed into believing is mother nature’s greatest gift to women. I’m sorry to say it like that, but for some women it’s affecting their quality of life and not in a good way. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to cancel plans because of my period or because I was ovulating… it’s humiliating.

I never thought I’d be saying this at twenty-nine years old, but I’m having a hysterectomy in a few weeks. I'll be keeping one ovary though, so I won’t be going into early menopause which I’m grateful for.

I’ve got quite a journey of healing ahead of me but I’m fucking ready for it. I’ll be starting a new decade pain free and I can’t wait to write about all the things I'll be able to do now.

After this is done and over, there are no more excuses. I deserve to make the most out of this second chance and I'm going to fight like hell making up for everything I've missed out on.

-A